LIMITS & FLOW

There comes a point in every life where effort alone is no longer enough. No amount of true pushing, fixing, analyzing, stressing or worrying genuinely helps, and trying to control outcomes begins to exhaust rather than empower us. These moments almost always arrive when we feel stretched to our very limits, emotionally, physically, or spiritually. And yet, paradoxically, these limits are not where we are abandoned. They are where the deepest supports of the universe becomes available.

The universe does not respond to force in the way the human mind expects. It responds to alignment. When we are constantly striving, resisting what is, or fearing what might happen next, our energy is fragmented. We are moving against the current. Life feels heavy, chaotic, or unstable not because we are doing something wrong, but because we are trying to swim upstream.

Being pushed to our limits is often the universe asking us to soften, not harden. To listen rather than react. To release the illusion that we must hold everything together by sheer will. These moments strip away what is no longer sustainable. They invite us to find peace not after the struggle ends, but within the struggle itself.

Finding peace in your limits does not mean giving up. It means accepting where you are without judgment. It means saying, this is where I am standing right now, and I choose presence instead of panic. When you meet your edge with calm awareness, something shifts. The nervous system settles. The mind quiets. The heart opens just enough to receive.

This is where the universe steps in.

Support from the universe rarely arrives as a dramatic rescue. More often, it comes as a subtle correction. A conversation that clears the air. A delay that protects you. A feeling of calm where anxiety once lived. A door that opens only after you stop forcing it. These are not coincidences. They are responses to your willingness to trust.

Trusting the flow of the universe is an act of courage. It requires faith not in a specific outcome, but in the intelligence of life itself. It asks you to believe that even when you cannot see the path forward, there is one unfolding beneath your feet. When you release the need to control every step, you allow that path to rise and meet you.

Peace at your limits becomes a signal. It tells the universe, I am listening. I am open. I am ready to be supported. And the universe always responds to that frequency.

In time, you may look back and realise that the moments you thought would break you were the moments that realigned you. That what felt like pressure was actually preparation. That the universe was never asking you to endure more, only to trust more deeply.

When you meet life with surrender instead of resistance, the flow carries you. And in that flow, you are never alone.

There was a period in my life where this lesson arrived not as a concept, but as a lived experience, and it came through my finances.

I remember reaching a point where I felt stretched to my absolute limit. I had done what I could in practical ways. I had planned carefully, adjusted where possible, and still felt the quiet weight of uncertainty sitting with me. It was not just about money, it was the way it lived in my body. The tightness in my chest, the constant scanning for what might go wrong next, the feeling of being braced all the time.

Eventually, something in me softened.

Not because the situation resolved, but because I realised I could no longer carry it with tension. I met that edge honestly and gently. I allowed myself to acknowledge where I was without judgment or fear. I grounded into the present moment and chose peace within the uncertainty, rather than waiting for certainty to feel peaceful.

That shift changed everything.

When I stopped resisting the moment, my nervous system settled. My energy moved out of survival mode and back into trust. I focused on what was in front of me, the next kind step, the next aligned choice, rather than trying to control the entire future.

From that place, support began to flow in subtle, organic ways. A delay created breathing room. A conversation opened unexpectedly. A solution appeared that I could not have forced or predicted. It felt as though life itself was responding to my willingness to meet my limits with calm presence.

What I learned during that time is that the universe does not require us to be unbreakable. It asks us to be available. Available to soften, to listen, to trust that even when we cannot see the whole path, we are still being guided.

That experience reshaped my relationship with money, but more deeply, it reshaped my relationship with trust. When I allowed peace to live inside the limitation, life reorganized around me. Not dramatically, but lovingly. Quietly. Exactly as much as I needed.

This is what trusting the flow truly feels like. It is not passive, and it is not blind faith. It is a grounded, embodied knowing that when we meet our edges with presence and grace, the universe meets us there with support.

Death Doula Randi

Asking for help

Asking for help is hard.

We are told to reach out for help, but that can be incredibly difficult to do and cause anxiety. 

There has been a pattern over the course of my life. It started as a child. 

My first real memory of needing help was in grade one. I had to go to the washroom. I was wearing a jean skirt, and in grade one my brain didn’t think about just lifting up the skirt, so when I couldn’t get that button undone at the top I ran out of the bathroom to ask my teacher for help. I remember tapping her on the shoulder and saying excuse me, but she was too busy. She kept telling me to just wait, just wait, and eventually I ended up peeing on the floor in front of the entire grade one classroom.

The memory of being laughed at, judged, my humiliation, my embarrassment, I never wanted to feel that way again. I could hear them calling me stupid and why did I need help with my skirt.

There are other memories that follow from that, hearing a peer call me stupid because I didn’t understand something from a teacher, having my parents respond to me in a sarcastic tone when I didn’t know how to do something or had a question that they thought was silly, and etc. 

We are taught from a young age that all of our questions are stupid even though we are told no question is a stupid question. 

By the time I hit adulthood I learned pretty quickly that if I didn’t want to feel embarrassed or humiliated, or put on the spot, I should just do something myself and probably do it alone before anyone could see me. Now when I do that I get called stubborn. When in reality I would love help, but I can’t bring myself to ask for it.

I in turn moved into relationships in my teen years and adulthood where I never fully relied on or trusted in someone else. I chose to keep most parts of my life separate, so that I could deal with that myself and not need help. That moved fully into me overwhelming and exhausting myself physically and mentally because I was running around trying to do life alone, while looking like I wasn’t. What?! Lol

I still do this. I have not overcome the impact of those experiences. I watch other others in life be treated the same way when they need help, which instills in me further that doing things myself offers more overwhelm yes, but less stress from others, so what is the less of the two evils? It is being overwhelmed for me. Because if I am the only person who knows I am overwhelmed, then I can’t be made to feel stupid by anybody.

When my sister died I watched everyone seem to be able to take care of themselves. They didn’t seem to be struggling or needing help, so I kept all of my struggles inside - At least I thought I did - I numbed them so I didn’t feel overwhelmed, and I carried on with my life with no one reaching out to see if I was OK or if they did reach out they would ask and then quickly change the subject.That experience taught me a lot, that as long as I was quiet, and kept my problems to myself, I wasn’t a burden on anybody. Even though it was killing me to numb my feelings and not ask for the help I needed.

A lot of the times I still don’t understand why I am falling into these old patterns and habits, I still don’t understand why after so many attempts at healing this specific area, do I still struggle with it. Most of the time I don’t even recognize it happening until I am in the midst of it.

The one thing I do know is that conversation heals, and that is exactly how we have to continue working at healing things. I know that we have to give others a lot of patience and understanding and not take it personally when they don’t want us to help them. I also know that we go through things for a reason, and for whatever reason I still need to move through these experiences.

When somebody offers to help me, the first thing I feel is that they think I can’t do something. Then I get a rush of emotions, suddenly I can hear them calling me stupid, dumb, weak, less of a person, and etc. I can hear that even if their mouth doesn’t actually move. I can hear it even if they don’t actually say it, or even think it. That is how my brain has rewired that trauma. 

Healing is not easy and it is not understood by everyone. The biggest thing that I can say is if you do not understand why people seem so “stubborn“ or don’t want to ask for help, try taking a step back and not calling them names, try not responding with sarcasm, try being more gentle, and eventually, just maybe, they will let you in.

• Death Doula Randi